Tag: stress

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on May 13, 2021, by Cindy Mailhot, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine. 

Question: My daughter was touched sexually without consent by a classmate last year. She has not had in-person classes with the student this year due to mostly remote classes. She has lately been expressing a lot of anxiousness about seeing him in person when classes resume to normal. How can she best prepare for seeing him again and feeling safe? (The school is aware and spoke to the boy and his parents when this happened. He received a school suspension.)

Answer: I can just imagine how stressful this situation has been for your daughter and for you as a parent. You are doing an amazing job as a parent in supporting your daughter and working with the school to ensure her safety and sense of safety with the world around her.

Not knowing the age of your daughter, here are some suggestions for a variety of ages:

  • Work with the school to determine a schedule and plan that involves minimal interactions with this other student and a plan for when interaction may happen.
  • Sit down with your daughter and review the potential spaces and places she expects to see this other student in school–in the classroom, in the halls, at lunch. Explore the possible interactions she can imagine (good and bad) and brainstorm how she might manage in different situations–walk away, go to the principal or guidance counselor’s office, find her friend group, calmly but firmly say “leave me alone.”
  • Try to understand her “ideal” situation and brainstorm how that might be able to happen.
  • Remind her that the other student might be feeling awkward and uncomfortable, too, and may also be worried about seeing her.
  • Find out what the return to the classroom will look like and perhaps try a trial run rather than going back full-speed immediately.
  • Find out who her supports would be in the school if she’s having a difficult time and work on familiarizing her with these supports (if she isn’t already familiar with them) so she might feel more comfortable seeking help if needed.
  • Explore who the safe people are to talk to if something were to happen that she is uncomfortable with.
  • Stay hopeful. Try something on this list each day. Dwell on thoughts of when the pandemic ends and of all the things you will want to do and explore with your child. Do not hesitate to reach out for help.
  • Find one friend that can be her “buddy” for the first few days or weeks, so she won’t feel alone as she gets a feel for the situation.
  • A transition object from home that she can keep in her pocket that reminds her of your unconditional love and support throughout her day may ease the transition.
  • Provide plenty of opportunities to discuss her worries and concerns with you and anyone else she might feel comfortable with.

To know if she’s adjusting well, keep the lines of communication open. Check-in with her regularly and ask how she’s feeling, if the plans that were made are working and if anything needs to change. I also recommend that you watch for behavior changes. If you notice anything concerning (you know your daughter best), reach out to a mental health specialist for assistance. Behavior changes could include a change in social activities, isolation, sadness, anger, acting out, or essentially any behavior that is outside the norm for your child.

 

Cindy Mailhot, LCSW, CCS is a clinical social worker and the Assistant Director of Outpatient Therapy at Health Affiliates Maine.

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Studies have shown that a daily routine alleviates feelings of stress, anxiety and other mental health issues. It’s also proven beneficial for those working through addiction, insomnia, and helps give structure to children who may otherwise experience anxiety. Though our daily lives have been upended in recent weeks, this can be a powerful time to establish our priorities through routine.

Here are some reasons why and how routine can enhance your mental wellbeing, as well as some examples to try in your own life.

Ease stress: With so many decisions to be made each day, it can become overwhelming quickly. Having the majority of daily decisions planned in advance can lessen stress. It’s okay to start small with one decision and work up to planning more. Try: Put together your outfit the night before or pack tonight’s leftover dinner as an ready-to-grab lunch for tomorrow.

Provide structure: Children aren’t the only ones who benefit from structure. Even as adults, we perform better when we expect predictable and controllable moments. When our day has a rhythm, we feel grounded and focused. Try: Write down all the things that you need to do during your day. Once these priorities are met, sprinkle in what you want to do.

Better coping skills: When most of our daily tasks are repetitive and expected, it gives us the confidence to make it through our day. This will help to establish better coping skills for life’s curveballs. Try: Allow yourself time each day to process your emotions. Write in a journal, meditate, or express your feelings creatively.  

Forms habits: It takes 21 days to form a habit—why not use a routine as practice? The more consistent you are, the better established your routine will become. Try: Go to bed and wake up at the same times each day. A proper sleep schedule reduces stress, anxiety and gives you the energy to power through your day.

 

Your routine should represent your lifestyle and meet your responsibilities. This means that if waking up at 4am is impossible for you, don’t make yourself do it. Set yourself up for success! With this being said, a daily routine should never feel like a prison. Leave room for flexibility and the opportunity to adapt to life’s changes.

We all rely on each other for support and encouragement. If you are experiencing severe stress or are having difficulty performing day-to-day tasks reach out to a loved one or professional.

 

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Now, more than ever, it’s important to be aware of your mental health. Rather than letting anxiety, stress or negativity overwhelm you, it’s best to stay present and minimize stress as much as possible.

There are many techniques that may help you process and reduce stress. While not every suggestion will work for every person, adopt what works best for you into your daily wellness routine.

Stress-reducing techniques:

  • Exercise: Physical activity can boost your immune system, help you feel good about yourself, increase your energy levels, alleviate stress, and help with sleep. There are numerous home workouts available online to try for free!
  • Meditate: Find some time every day to do even a few minutes of meditation. It helps calm the brain and make you feel more grounded and present.
  • Be informed: Uncertainty or misinformation can increase worry and cause panic. You can stay informed through official, fact-checked channels such as the CDC website or the World Health Organization’s website.
  • Don’t obsess over the negative: Sometimes too much information can lead to overload or more stress. Try to limit exposure to media outlets and make sure your information sources are reliable. Avoid reading before bed—it can increase anxiety or stress.
  • Pay attention to positive news: Despite this difficult time, there is often positive information in the daily news, online, and in social media. Find hope in these stories and share them with those who may need a boost.
  • Think positively: Recall how you and your loved ones overcame past hardships. Remind yourself that things are temporary, and the current situation will pass. Consider the current time as an opportunity to show more care to yourself and your loved ones.
  • Share thoughts/feelings with others: Talking about your thoughts and feelings can help alleviate stress. Others might share similar feelings and can help you process your emotions.
  • Check in with loved ones: Loved ones are often concerned about us and may try to protect us by not being fully truthful. If you are worried about loved ones, reach out to them frequently and lend a listening ear.
  • Learn to say “no”: Although sharing information and feelings can be helpful, it is also important to say “no” when you are uncomfortable. Respectfully set boundaries and leave conversations in an appropriate way.
  • Engage with others (from a safe distance): There is still life outside of the current crisis. Join in a virtual dinner party, video chat with friends or family, listen to music, or start a new hobby.
  • Do some relaxation: Plan some relaxation techniques or activities that you enjoy into your daily schedule. Read a book, enjoy a warm bath, meditate—anything that calms you or brings you joy.
  • Get outside: Go outside for walks! Fresh air and sunshine are excellent for boosting your mood. Get outside as much as you can if you are in an area where you can practice safe social and physical distancing from others.
  • Let it out: Sometimes expressing your emotions can be helpful. Try journaling, keeping a voice diary, or letting yourself be upset for a while. It’s important not to bottle up your emotions.

Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself, it’s crucial to your wellbeing. A strong body and mind will help you to navigate through uncertain times.

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