Tag: New Year Resolutions

Have you found yourself at the beginning of a new year with good intentions and hefty resolutions, but ended up falling off track? We’ve all been there! Although it can seem discouraging, it is possible to make changes for the better. By having a growth mindset, you know that with time and effort you can stay on track with your goals and grow mentally and emotionally. Use these simple affirmations to start 2021 off confidently.

I failed vs. I learn from my mistakes. When we change the narrative from failure to growth, we’re more receptive to learning from our mistakes rather than fearing making them in the first place.

I can do it alone vs. I ask for help when I need it. There is a difference between independence and being self-sufficient and knowing when you need support. The key is learning when and to whom you should ask for help.

I’m not as good/successful/purposeful as they are vs. I focus on my own progress. Comparison has its place, but it can also be very dangerous to your mental health and your personal growth. When you focus on your progress, you learn more about yourself and what you need and want in your journey.

I’m not smart enough for that vs. I can do hard things. Strong, confident, and mentally healthy people know that a challenge can be a good thing. When you overcome difficult situations, you become more confident and resilient—and ready for the next challenge.

I’ll never understand it vs. I haven’t figured it out yet. When we have limiting thoughts, we are indeed limiting ourselves. It’s okay if something is taking you time to figure out or work through. Life is full of those situations! Giving yourself the empathy and understanding that certain things take time to work through will be beneficial in your growth.

I’m just not meant for this vs. I am on the right track. When you focus on yourself, learn from mistakes, and give yourself time to work through things, you’ll come to know yourself better on a deeper level. Your intuition is powerful and can guide you through many of life’s uncertainties especially if you’re equipped to learn to listen to it. It’s just as important to realize when you’re not on the right track and to change course until you know that you are.

It’s important to recognize that the way you communicate with yourself is just as important as the rest of your emotional and mental health. With societal pressures, family pressures, and internal pressures, it’s crucial that we heal the relationship we have with ourselves in order for us to truly progress and thrive.

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Each January, millions of people attempt to improve something in their lives by committing to a New Year’s Resolution – a promise to themselves that, this year, things will be different.  By February, many of those resolutions are forgotten or discarded. 

What happens to our resolve?

We set a goal that is too large.

Smaller steps toward a larger goal help you to experience success along the way and evaluate what to do next (or whether you want to continue).

We catch a bad case of the “shoulds.” 

We think we should lose weight, should be more organized, should stop smoking.  When we try to do something we think we “should” do, we can feel resentful and uninvested.

We try to go it alone. 

Change is hard.  When we try to do it all by ourselves, it can be easy to get exhausted and discouraged.

When we don’t follow through on our resolutions, we can feel like we’ve failed.

What can we do?

Focus on what you want, phrased in positive language. 

When we phrase our goals in positive language, in present tense, we train our minds to look for the positive.  So, instead of “I will stop smoking,” try “I breathe clean, fresh air,” or instead of “I will stop spending money,” try “I use my money to buy the necessities in life” or “I use my money for things that bring meaning and joy to my life.”

Evaluate why you want to make this resolution. 

Are you making this resolution to please others? Because you feel obligated?  Because you should?  Consider your investment in and motivation for the resolution.  Doing it for others rarely works.

Get support. 

Having others cheer you on (or doing it with you) can make the difference between sticking with it or not.  We feel accountable to those others. 

Remember, we can resolve to change any time we want.  Positive mental, physical, and spiritual health are lifelong resolutions – promises to ourselves that are worthy of keeping! 

 

Author: Mary Gagnon, LMFT, Training and Clinical Development Specialist & Outpatient Therapy Supervisor, Health Affiliates Maine

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