Author: Randy Runnels

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on Februaury 11th, 2020 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

Question:  I believe my husband may have a gambling problem. What started as a few nights of card games out with the guys has turned into more frequent outings and I suspect trips to casinos. He also buys a lot of scratch and lottery tickets and has been hiding them. I’ve asked him about it a few times and he shakes it off as not a big deal. He recently sold some household items that I know he would not have parted with if he didn’t really need some money and it has me very worried. I want to get him help if he needs it but if he doesn’t see it as a problem, I don’t know how to.

Answer: I am glad you asked about this question.  It is hard to help someone when they don’t believe they have a problem. As with other addictions, admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery. There are several indicators in what you wrote that do indicate a problem. You have noticed his attention to gambling increase, you have noticed he is buying a lot of scratch tickets and is hiding them. You have also noticed he has sold household items which you doubt he would part with if he didn’t need the money. Lastly, it is affecting your relationship; you are very worried.

Before I talk about him and the gambling problem in general, I would like to talk about you. It is important that you put in place things to protect your financial and your emotional health.  

  1. First, take over managing the family accounts. Keep a close eye on bank and credit card statements.  Do this frequently by checking periodically online or by phone. This will ensure that your own credit and finances are not at risk. Address questionable financial transactions early. Gambling addiction can cause people to behave in ways they never would have thought possible previously. This can mean lying and stealing.
  1. Prepare to be able to answer when he asks for money and be careful not to give in to manipulation.  Often with addictions the ones closest to the person with the problem can end up enabling them to continue. You can continue the cycle if you bail him out of debt or cover for him. Without efforts to recover he will have more debt soon.
  1. Confront the problem by talking with your husband about how his behavior is affecting the family. Try not to lose your temper or lecture him. Talk with him about getting help. Offer to go with him. A counselor can support you both in this. They can work with you on skills for setting boundaries. 
  1. Get support for yourself with such groups as GamAnon which can give you tools from people who have lived through this. You will learn not to bail him out if he gets into financial trouble. Even if he does not seek support from such a group, do so for yourself.
  1. Keep in mind that someone with a gambling problem is suffering and feels powerless to stop but often is not ready to recognize or admit this. Sometimes they gamble to treat underlying mood problems. Always take any statements about suicide seriously (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255).

Here are the criteria for Gambling Addiction from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders from the American Psychiatric Association. Help should be sought if someone has 4 or more of these behaviors:

  • A need to gamble in increasing amounts to get the same level of satisfaction from the process.
  • Is restless or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop gambling.
  • Repeated unsuccessful attempts to control or stop gambling or buy lottery tickets.
  • Preoccupation with gambling, watching for lottery numbers or purchasing scratch-off tickets in high amounts or very frequently.
  • Gambling when distressed (helpless, guilty, anxious or depressed).
  • Lying to hide the purchases or the extent of the investment in scratch-off pieces.
  • Chasing losses with more investments the next day, especially when done routinely.
  • Seeks out money from other people for gambling or buying lottery tickets.
  • Has jeopardized or lost significant relationship, job, or educational or career opportunities because of gambling
  • Relies on others to provide money to relieve desperate financial situations caused by gambling.

Here are the keys to help you and your husband:  

  • Protect your finances
  • Get education about gambling
  • Get professional and community help and support for both of you 

Helpful links:

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on January 9th, 2020 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

Question:  I am a single mom to two kids. My oldest son is 16 and taller, bigger, and stronger than me. He has recently switched from sulky teen to angry teen and twice has grabbed me to the point of it being painful. I’m worried about this escalating into more and it prevents me from bringing things up with him as I am fearful of making him angry. As far as I know he has never been exposed to abuse. His dad was not abusive and I don’t know where this anger comes from. He always apologizes after but I need some ideas to talk to him about the seriousness of what he is doing without making it worse. Thank you.

Answer:  This is a tough situation, and one that I feel needs immediate intervention to help your son, and to protect you. You said that your son “recently switched” from being a “sulky teen to an angry teen.” Switches in personality, like you describe, usually have a precipitating event, or circumstance. It could be something going on with him physically, of which he has no control, or his emotions may be rooted in abuse, bullying, or fear. In our culture, anger is often easier for us to express, rather than the true emotion lying underneath. That is why talking with a professional, like a counselor, can help get to the root of the problem and find new ways of coping.

Adolescent depression is also a possibility to be explored; it can present as profound irritability and a shorter fuse. Your PCP can screen for depressive disorders for which treatment might be helpful.

Substance abuse must also be considered. Many teens experiment and some can have reactions, even allergic reactions, which seem to change their personalities, leaving parents wondering what happened to their child. This is serious and needs to be addressed early. If you don’t feel confident about this, seek parenting help and call your PCP.

Teens have a lot going on not only in physical growth and the demands of school, but also with adulthood looming in the future. This may lead to anxiety. Psychologically, they are doing a push-pull with parents, both pushing you away because they think they are adults while pulling you close for fear of growing up. This is part of normal development. Your son’s school most likely has a counselor whom he could see, or may have a recommendation. Health Affiliates Maine can connect him with a counselor, as can other agencies.

If his father is deceased or absent from his life, your son could benefit from male mentoring. Perhaps there are family members or family friends who might be able to take on that role.  There are other organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters, New Beginnings, and Advocates for Children that might have resources which are helpful. 

Here are some things you can do that may be helpful:

  • Connect with his school and see if they have noticed any changes in him or can provide you with information.
  • When you feel it is safe to do this, talk with your son when he is calm, and see if he has any insight into what if troubling him. It’s reasonable to say to him that you both need to work together with a family therapist to learn how to communicate in a safe and healthy manner, and likely both parties need some help in this area. Open communication is the best plan, even when it is difficult and even when you are upset and angry, too. It is best for him to know where you stand and what your limits are. 
  • Take him to see his primary care provider (PCP). Let the PCP know what you are experiencing with him.
  • Your own safety also needs to be considered. If you are truly afraid he will hurt you or your other child, you may have to call 911 for help. At your son’s age, this will most likely lead to other interventions which could help him. He will be angry at you, but later understand.
  • Talk with your other child who may also feel afraid of their brother, yet fearful for him. When brother is angry, it can be an emotional and scary scene for the younger sibling, check in with them often about feelings and safety.

Right now your son needs you, even though he is pushing you away. He desperately needs to find another way of expressing his emotions, and you and your other child need to be safe. This is a very tough time for a parent. Don’t hesitate to get help.

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Dear Attendees,

Due to our first presumptive case of COVID-19 in Maine and recommendations to postpone large gatherings, at this time we are POSTPONING all three of our “Working Successfully with Personality Disorders in Therapy” workshops. We will look to reschedule these as soon as we are able.

If you would like your order refunded to you, please e-mail Mary Gagnon at mary.gagnon@healthaffiliatesmaine.com to make the request. Please give the refund process a few days to occur if you make that selection. Otherwise, we will hold your order until we reschedule this training.

Thank you for your understanding.
Sincerely, Mary A. Gagnon, LMFT Training and Clinical Development Specialist

LewistonFri, March 13, 2020 from 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Franco Center
46 Cedar Street
Lewiston, ME
Register
PortlandFri, March 20, 2020 from 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Italian Heritage Center
40 Westland Avenue
Portland, ME
Register
OronoFri, March 27, 2020 from 8:00am – 4:00pm
Black Bear Inn
4 Godfrey Drive
Orono, ME
Register

Deepen your knowledge of personality disorders with this one-day training, in which we’ll discuss diagnosis, myths, biases, tools, and more.

About this Event

Working Successfully with Personality Disorders in Therapy: Decreasing Myths, Increasing Clinical Effectiveness and Tools to Use in Your Practice

Clients who present with personality disorders can be some of the most difficult and challenging clients that mental health providers engage with. These clients present with disrupted interpersonal relationships, self-harming and suicidal crises, difficulties regulating their emotions and an unstable sense of self. Without the right skills and support clinicians often find themselves feeling exhausted and frustrated when working with these diagnoses. Through this training clinicians will deepen their knowledge of personality disorders and discuss differential diagnoses. Clinicians will be able to challenge their preconceived notions and myths regarding this population. Clinicians will be provided with tools to enhance and freshen their skills set when working with personality disorders in a therapeutic setting.

Objectives:

  • Understand myths, biases and judgments related to personality disorders
  • Review diagnostic criteria, differential diagnosis and co-occurring disorders
  • Learn therapeutic interventions to use in clinical practice to increase therapeutic effectiveness and client engagement
  • Develop an understanding of healthy and effective boundaries to set in an effort to decrease therapist burn-out

Outline:

8:30 What do we know about personality disorders: Exploring biases and myths
9:00 Understanding personality disorders in clinical practice
10:15 Break
10:30 Evidence-based treatments and personality disorders
11:15 Exploring ways to implement clinical interventions
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Exploring ways to implement clinical interventions
2:15 Break
2:30 Case Conceptualization
3:00 Maintaining professional boundaries: decreasing therapist burnout and practicing self-care
4:00 Conclusion

About the Presenter

Katelyn Baxter-Musser is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Gorham. There she provides individual therapy, couples and family therapy and consultation to mental health professionals. Katelyn has been in the field for over ten years and has worked in a variety of different roles including as a case manager, child and family therapist, trauma therapist and clinical coordinator. Prior to being in private practice Katelyn has worked for several agencies as well as Native American reservations. In her private practice Katelyn specializes in working with domestic violence, abuse, trauma, PTSD, depression, anxiety, grief and relationship issues, dissociative disorders and personality disorders. Katelyn is a Certified Dialectical Behavior Therapist and a Certified EMDR therapist. Katelyn is trained in a variety of therapeutic modalities including DBT, EMDR, CBT, mindfulness and motivational interviewing. She sits on the EMDRIA Standards and Training Committee and is the co-regional coordinator for the EMDR Southern Maine Regional Network.

 

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Soon “Empty Nest” Has Dad Sad

Our youngest child is a senior in high school and I am looking at a future empty nest with a heavy heart. My wife is the opposite and talking about our retirement years and being kid-free.

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on December 12th, 2019 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

Question: Our youngest child is a senior in high school and I am looking at a future empty nest with a heavy heart. My wife is the opposite and talking about our retirement years and being kid-free. I know she will miss the kids too but seems almost gleeful about it being just us. I love my wife and look forward to those years but am also pretty sad about losing our kids. How do I address it best with her to maybe tone down the glee and recognize I may have some tough feelings around our empty nest?

Answer: I think like you. Having my children around, as little ones or adults, is one of the joys of my life. I have found that doesn’t change even though they no longer live under my roof. This time of having children transition to adulthood affects everyone differently. For some, the “Empty Nest Syndrome” is characterized by sadness and even depression, while others may view it as “Empty Nest Symphony” as one feels the lightening of responsibility and a newfound freedom. Most people experience both ways of feeling to some degree.  It is one of those life transitions that take time.

This would be a great time to have a conversation with your wife. Try to really understand what this means to her. After years of insisting that homework get done, teeth get brushed, or they get up and off to school, she may be looking forward to not being responsible for everyone. Enjoying being with you, and having time to herself, may have been put on the back burner.

I also urge you to talk with her about your feelings about having the kids gone, and that it is harder for you. If it is difficult for you to ask her to “tone down the glee,” it may point to a larger issue of needing to find each other again. All parents should work hard to not make their kids be the only focus in their relationship with each other. This is hard to do. It takes an effort to continue to have your personal interests, and those interests you share as a couple, once you have children. Setting aside time for each other without kids, through the years, will help when the empty nest comes around.

Try not to think of having your kids move out as a hard stop. Your relationships with them should continue. Enjoying your children as adults can be a new kind of fun. Your children will also need you for many reasons in their young adult lives. Try to view each stage of their lives as new beginnings, not endings. If your adult children plan to live close to you, make some family time together each week. Before long more children may come along to enrich your life. 

Right now, take on the new project of making the most of the marriage that produced those children you have enjoyed so much.  There is a richness there that needs to be rediscovered. The goal is to grow together in the empty nest. Through the child raising years, people grow and change. Many couples seek counseling to help them rekindle those connections which brought them together pre-kids, and to learn to enjoy each other again. Don’t hesitate to seek support in the process, and if you continue to struggle with this transition, seek help for yourself.

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Beyond Baby Blues: Sister is Worried About Sister

My sister had a baby two months ago and I am concerned she may have postpartum depression.

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on November 27th, 2019 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

Question: My sister had a baby two months ago and I am concerned she may have postpartum depression. She is very overwhelmed, angry and sad. She is very loving toward my niece and I don’t worry about her harming the baby but she seems beyond the “baby blues.” I’ve brought it up to her a couple of times and am met with defensiveness. I can’t help but worry and want to be there for her; just not sure how to best do that. Thanks.

Answer: It is great that your sister has a sister who is so caring, and is looking out for her. You are right to be concerned, because this is a change in her normal behavior, at a time when you would expect she would be joyful. New motherhood is full of emotions and being overwhelmed is a normal feeling. Becoming a parent for the first time is a life changing experience which makes going forward feel very intimidating. This can be so overwhelming. Hormonally, the body is readjusting to not being pregnant. Many new moms worry their bodies will never be the same. Most new parents don’t feel equipped for this great responsibility of child-raising, no matter how prepared they may have thought they were. There may also be other circumstances in her life or relationship, which may be contributing to feeling angry and sad. Recognizing this might help you understand.

Here are some of the symptoms of postpartum depression (these symptoms can be present in new dads, too):

–Depressed mood or mood swings
–Crying spells
–Social Withdrawal
–Feeling Overwhelmed
–Altered eating and sleeping
–Sadness
–Loss of interest in sex
–Overwhelming exhaustion

Postpartum Depression that becomes a medical emergency:

–Unable to sleep
–Confused
–Hallucinations/delusions
–Obsessive and fearful about the baby
–Paranoid thinking
–Refusing to eat
–Thought of harming self or baby

Resource:https://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/default.htm

We cannot force people to get help unless they have the potential to harm themselves or someone else. As best as you can; continue to be there for her. Support her as she gains more skill in providing for her child’s needs. Reach out to those in her circle who might also be able to support her with love and patience. Don’t allow her to push you and others away, even when she is irritable and angry, which means not taking offense or walking out. When possible, take the baby and give her time to take care of herself, by napping, bathing, or going for a run. Helping to connect her to other new moms could prove very helpful in just realizing she is not the only one struggling. Lastly, as with most problems, don’t try to fix it, JUST LISTEN, and if she doesn’t want to talk, then just be there. This is real sister time, I wish you the best in your efforts to help.  

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Sad red-haired girl

The Emotional Ripple Effect of Someone’s Suicide

I have a tough subject to talk with you about: the extreme and extensive impact of a loved one’s suicide.

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on November 20th, 2019 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

I have a tough subject to talk with you about: the extreme and extensive impact of a loved one’s suicide.

Suicide is always shockingly sad anytime we hear of it, whether we know the person or not.  When it happens to someone we care about, like our spouse, parent, a brother or sister, a child or teenager, a neighbor, cousin, uncle, aunt, coworker or friend, it knocks the wind out of us, like a punch in the gut.  It is hard enough to lose someone in the normal course of living, but to lose them to suicide is immeasurably hard to grasp.  It is an unexpected ending and our lives are suddenly changed.    

When someone is the one left behind by a suicide they experience so many emotions, unusual circumstances, awkward conversations, and they have so many questions, most of which have no good answers.  If this were to happen to you, here are some things you may experience:

You may have to endure a police investigation. A police investigation can be unsettling, especially when you’re grieving.  The police have to investigate and they are looking for information, but because of the shock and confusion, giving answers may be difficult.  

You may feel confused, forgetful, or exhausted. A typical reaction to traumatic events is to feel confused or forgetful. You may forget to do your usual routines, like eating or brushing your teeth.  You may feel like you can’t think straight.  You may experience extreme exhaustion (as is typical with emotional pain), yet sleep can be elusive.

You may feel abandoned, left alone by someone you thought cared.  You may wonder, “Didn’t they care about me?” and “Why wasn’t my loving them, enough? Why didn’t they come to me?” Children may wonder what they did wrong.

You may be in denial and not believe that this actually happened, and that it was actually a suicide. 

You may feel numb and feel nothing.  You may even think you have gotten over the event.  Then, suddenly, you are living it with intense emotion.

You may have regrets about not having known they were in serious trouble.  Some people present as fine on the outside and are torn-up with despair on the inside.  Sometimes they work really hard to hide these feelings from loved ones.  I have known many people who say “I wear a mask.”

You may feel guilt or responsibility.  “If only I had…” and “If I would have/could have done something, they would still be here.” 

You may be angry.  You may be very angry–at the person (“How could she do this?” “How could he throw away his beautiful life?”) or at those who you feel should have helped (“Why didn’t the doctor/the school/the counselor do something?”) It is no one’s fault, and certainly not yours.

Your faith may be rocked. “How could God let this happen?”

You may feel shame about it and not want it to be public knowledge.  There is stigma which makes us not want to share when we or a loved one struggles with mental illness.  Our society has equated emotional suffering with weakness.

You may feel relief, which often leads to feeling more shame because you do feel relief.  When someone is depressed to the point of suicide it affects everyone around them.  Their depression can make us feel hopeless and anxious.

You may feel depressed, and alone in your grief.

Emerging after someone’s suicide takes time.  It is best to allow yourself time to grieve, to feel what you feel, and to talk about your questions with a counselor, pastor, or a caring friend.  Don’t do it alone.  If you feel depressed, or in spiritual despair, seek help.  If you feel suicidal, seek help. 

This person you have loved was part of your world.  Talk about your loved one by remembering the good times, as well as the bad times.  This can help with healing.  Say their name.  It keeps them alive in your heart.  Eventually you will come to your own acceptance and peace.  Be gentle with yourself.

 

Suicide Hotline:  1-800-273-8255             Maine Crisis Hotline   1-888-568-1112

 

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

This weekend Andrea Krebs, Executive Director and Kate Marble, Case Management Program Director from Health Affiliates Maine proudly accepted the NAMI Maine Outstanding Partner Agency award on HAMs behalf.

HAM is dedicated to working toward the mission of reducing stigma, spreading awareness and creating access to supports for people in Maine effected by mental health struggles. We are happy to support NAMI and honored to work toward these shared goals for the people we serve.

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Teen’s Mood Has Mom Confused

How do you tell the difference between teenage moodiness and depression?

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on October 28th, 2019 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

Question: How do you tell the difference between teenage moodiness and depression? My son has been very tired, withdrawn, and sulky since school started. I ask him about school and he says everything is fine. He has friends and is in sports. His grades are fine. When I ask if he is feeling down, he says no and that he’s just tired. It seems like more than being tired or teenage moodiness though. How do I tell the difference?

Answer: You are doing a good job, mom, at paying attention! That is the key to finding an answer to your first question. There seems to be a lot going on here. Some of what is happening may be quite normal and age appropriate, while some may indicate some intervention is needed.  

Many parents are alarmed when their sweet-natured, family-oriented young teen turns, seemingly overnight, into a dark, moody stranger who wants nothing to do with the family. This is also the time when many things parents say are met with rolling eyes and disbelief. The good news; they usually grow out of this. This can be is part of a teen’s developmental task, which is moving toward becoming an adult and separating from parents. The teen years, with the help of hormones, can be full of testing, pulling away, moodiness and pushing boundaries, as they struggle to be different from their parents. It can be a baffling time for parents and really baffling for the teens. The emotions and uncertainty may cause them to experiment with risky behaviors, and affect their feelings about themselves, their world view, and sense of belonging. Sometimes they are overwhelmed by it all and can become moody and depressed, often isolating themselves from family activities and friends. 

Most of the difficulties with teen behavior are episodic, meaning they may have periods of moodiness but also are able to move on from that. So consider how long the moodiness has been going on. If he is able to pull himself out of it and have some periods of a lighter mood it is less serious than if it is prolonged.

The concerning part of your description of your son is about his tiredness. I recommend he have a health check-up to make sure there is nothing physically going on. Many things can cause fatigue. He may be staying up late studying, being online or playing video games. Is he tired from the sports workouts and staying up late to finish homework? If so, there will need to be some monitoring to ensure he is getting more regular sleep. Signs that there may be a problem are if he is spending an unusual amount of time sleeping or he is taking frequent naps. This could indicate depression or another health issue.

Here are some other important questions to consider. How you answer these questions may help you know what you need to do.  

  • Is he spending time with his friends? Are they old friends or new friends?  
  • Is there a special relationship starting or stopping? 
  • Is he feeling bullied or otherwise intimidated at school?  
  • Is his behavior different outside home?  
  • Is he engaged in activities that you have not previously seen him engage in? 
  • Is he pushing you away with his mood, so you won’t recognize that he may be using substances like alcohol, marijuana and other drugs?  
  • Does the school report that he attends regularly?  
  • Has anyone else noticed any change in his behavior?
  • Is he complaining of physical symptoms like stomachaches and headaches? 

Your teen may not choose to talk to you about any of this. If you suspect there is more behind his tiredness, if his symptoms are prolonged, or if he is losing interest in school, friends, sports, etc., then have him screened for depression. Your PCP is the first place to start. Lastly, many teens benefit from seeing a counselor who can be help them navigate the transition into adulthood. There are many counselors who work with youth, both male and female. It is difficult when a parent knows that something is making their teen struggle. I wish the best for you, and him.  

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Christine Rogerson

Ethics, Decision Making, and Our Professional Commitment to Social Justice

Training events from late November to early December in Orono, Falmouth & Lewiston.

OronoFri, November 8, 2019 from 8:00am – 4:00pm
Black Bear Inn
4 Godfrey Drive
Orono, ME
Register
FalmouthFri, December 6, 2019 from 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
The Woodlands Club
39 Woods Road
Falmouth, ME
Register
LewistonFri, December 13, 2019 from 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Franco Center
46 Cedar Street
Lewiston, ME
Register

About the Program

The world seems to be spinning faster and faster these days, and the call to social justice greater and greater. As clinicians, what is our responsibility to social justice? What is our role in pursuing social change? How do we wade through the ethical quagmires? This workshop will assist clinicians in defining social change, identifying the roles we play in upholding social justice, and explore the ethical decision making process as it relates to social change.

Exposure to violence and abuse also has implications for the healers including safety concerns and compassion fatigue. We will consider personal and systemic support for professional resiliency.

Objectives for the day:

  1. Define Social Justice and identify the role we as helping professional play
  2. Explore Codes of Ethics and identify steps to ethical decision making
  3. Determine strategies to elicit our professional responsibility to social justice

Agenda for the day

8:30 Opening Introductions & Ice breaker
9:00 What is Social Justice?
10:15 Break
10:30 Ethics
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Ethical Decision Making
2:15 Break
2:30 Ethics & Our Commitment to Social Justice
3:45 So now what?
4:00 Conclusion

About the Presenter

Christine Rogerson, LCSW

A graduate of the University of Maine at Orono with a Bachelor of Arts in psychology, Christine Rogerson earned her Master of Social Work from the University of New England. Currently, she is pursuing a PhD. in social work at Simmons University and is a Field Practicum Coordinator for the University of New England’s Master of Social Work program. Christine’s work in education at the University of New England is robust, having served as an academic advisor, a visiting clinical assistant professor, and an adjunct faculty member. Particularly knowledgeable when it comes to social justice, Christine recently taught a course at Simmons on racism and oppression.

Christine’s clinical work is also extensive. She has spent a decade as a clinician working with families and children through school-based counseling, behavioral health agencies, and in the hospital setting.

Committed to her community and to giving back, her service includes a seat on the Board of Directors of Sweetser as a Corporator, as a representative to the York Diversity Council, and as a LEND Grant inter-professional team member representing social work in a pediatric neurology clinic.

OronoFri, November 8, 2019 from 8:00am – 4:00pm
Black Bear Inn
4 Godfrey Drive
Orono, ME
Register
FalmouthFri, December 6, 2019 from 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
The Woodlands Club
39 Woods Road
Falmouth, ME
Register
LewistonFri, December 13, 2019 from 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Franco Center
46 Cedar Street
Lewiston, ME
Register

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

Child playing

Mom Seeks Alternatives to ADHD Meds

My son is 7 years-old and his teacher recently suggested that he may have ADHD. He is very active and sometimes distracted. I'm very hesitant to ask his doctor about it though because I do not feel like we need to put him on medication, at least not at such a young age.

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on September 26th, 2019 by Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS; Health Affiliates Maine

Question:  My son is 7 years-old and his teacher recently suggested that he may have ADHD. He is very active and sometimes distracted. I’m very hesitant to ask his doctor about it though because I do not feel like we need to put him on medication, at least not at such a young age. I’d like to explore some ways to help him with focus and calm his body over the summer to see if it helps before the start of school. Please share any suggestions you may have.

Answer:  Although this response isn’t fitting with your timeframe, I hope it can still be helpful throughout the year.  Many parents feel like you, and are concerned about their children taking medication at such a young age.  Some question whether medication would change their child’s personality when perhaps they could eventually grow out of their unfocused nature. They worry about side effects.  There are things you can do at home, and some other options to consider. Let’s start by understanding this condition and what contributes to ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). 

What is ADHD?   In order to be diagnosed with ADHD a child must have at least six ADHD symptoms of either: inattention, hyperactivity-impulsivity; one or the other, or both. These symptoms must be present for at least 6 months or longer, be present before the age of twelve and cause significant difficulties or impairment in two or more settings, such as home, school/work or social settings.  Adults can also have symptoms and be diagnosed with ADHD.

Some symptoms of inattention include: 

  • having difficulty maintaining attention, 
  • having difficulties listening or following instructions, 
  • making careless mistakes, 
  • avoiding tasks that require a sustained focus, 
  • being forgetful, 
  • getting distracted easily and 
  • losing things easily. 

The symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity include:

  • having difficulty engaging in quiet activities 
  • restlessness (needing to move around, fidgety, etc.) 
  • excessively talking or blurting out answers  
  • interrupting others 
  • having difficulty with waiting their turn

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/adhd/symptoms-causes/syc-20350889

Is it really ADHD?   Many disorders can mimic ADHD, including just about every anxiety disorder and some physical conditions. A thorough medical work-up and talking with your PCP about exploring other health issues that can affect your child’s ability to concentrate will be essential for your child.  Sometimes children will become temporarily hyperactive or distracted in the setting of a family stressor like death of a loved one, divorce, or traumatic event.

Parenting is key and your style of parenting may need to be modified to help your child.  Chaotic and hectic households (many of us have them) can contribute to how a child’s brain develops. Just as you would make changes for any child who has special needs, changes in your approach, schedule, your home, and your parenting skills may make a significant difference.  The best way to address behaviors in a child (ADHD or otherwise) is to provide an environment that is scheduled and consistent.  Seeking counseling can help you learn parenting skills that help you manage a distracted child, while being a loving parent who is consistent and firm.    

Limiting screen time: I realize that this seems impossible in our current culture.  However, it is so important in developing children.  A child with attention and hyperactivity issues can wear on a parent.  As a result, they may choose to allow screen time to distract them for some relief.  However, this is not a solution; it actually contributes to the problem.  Limit screens to no more than 20 minutes twice a day (at the most) with the parent controlling all access to screens including TV. 

A new study out of the University of Alberta has found that by the age of 5, children who spent two hours or more looking at a screen each day were 7.7 times more likely to meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) when compared to children who spent 30 minutes or less. https://www.ualberta.ca/medicine/news/2019/april/too-much-screen-time-associated-with-behavioural-problems-in-preschoolers

That means take the screens out of the bedroom, the car, and the kitchen.  Parents/caregivers should take charge of dispensing the screens and locking them up when not in use. Do this consistently and get all caregivers on board.  There are benefits for everyone when screens are limited. Here is a helpful link:  https://abcnews.go.com/Health/screen-time-linked-higher-risk-adhd-preschool-aged/story?id=62429157

Time Outside:  Make time for high energy play: outside.  I remember when my mother would have enough of me and my brothers pestering her, and we would get sent outside to play.  I would always fight it, claiming it was “too cold”, “too hot”, “there was nothing to do”, and “no one to play with”.  In the end, she would have to call and call for us to come in for supper.  Physical outside play and exercise is recommended for all children (actually for adults, too) and can be very helpful for the symptoms of ADHD. If you want your children to do something that helps their wellbeing, then take a strong parenting role and make it happen.  You can let them sit outside pouting until they grow tired of doing that.  This will communicate that you are in charge, and crying and complaining doesn’t change that fact.  You can adopt this ‘in charge’ stance in other areas.  When children know that a parent is in control, they feel safe.

Check out this link:  https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/6-reasons-children-need-to-play-outside-2018052213880

Regular Bedtime with the recommended number of hours of sleep for your child’s age is also critical.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommend children 3 to 5 years of age should sleep 10 to 13 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health. Children 6 to 12 years of age should sleep 9 to 12 hours per 24 hours on a regular basis to promote optimal health.  Consistent bedtime can help in many ways with children’s behavior and health.  Set a consistent bedtime for your child and stick to it.  This is another time when the parent must be in charge, and not let the child dictate the bedtime.  Whatever time you set, your child will adjust to it, if you are consistent.  

Read more:  https://www.parents.com/health/healthy-happy-kids/young-children-behave-better-when-they-have-a-consistent-bedtime/

ADHD is serious.  One caution is that you not wait too long after you have tried other alternatives. People who grow up with untreated ADHD often have low self-esteem.  They think of themselves as “stupid”. Throughout their lives they get messages from teachers, schoolmates, and family, when they are unable to settle, focus, or complete a task, that they are deficient and defective.  There are lifelong impacts to low self-esteem which can be serious.

 If your child continues to struggle with concentration, hyperactivity or both, his or her learning and overall functioning in the world is at risk, and may be enhanced on medication.  Please consider that medications aren’t evil, they are a tool and similar to a child with nearsightedness who can read if they really concentrate and squint their eyes, we don’t withhold glasses from them because we think they will grow out of it or do better if they just try harder, we give them glasses and are quite proud that they now enjoy reading instead of avoid it.

Here are some alternative ways ADHD symptoms are treated.  

  • Counseling to learn skills to focus their minds and modify behaviors.  This can be essential for parents.  Counseling also helps with self-esteem problems.
  • Acupuncture, Yoga and Tai Chi: Rooted in Eastern medicine, current studies show that this can be helpful.
  • Chiropractic: Call and ask about treating ADHD.
  • Nutritional counseling: There is some evidence that a low carb/sugar, high fat diet is helpful.

I wish you well as you explore what is best for your child.  

Luanne Starr Rhoades, LCPC, LADC, CCS is a professional counselor and the Outpatient Therapy Director at Health Affiliates Maine, a mental health and substance abuse treatment agency serving adults, adolescents, children and families. For more information or if you or someone you know needs help, call us at 877-888-4304 or visit our website www.healthaffiliatesmaine.com and click on “Referrals.”

Sign Up To Receive Our Latest Blog Posts!

Learn more tips on living well and understanding mental illness. Help to end the stigma, and hear inspiring stories of recovery. Sign up here!

WE’RE HIRING! Explore our open positions and discover the support and flexibility you’ve been looking for.

Learn More